Getting up in the morning after a poor nights sleep is hard - the urge is to stay in bed and stay in the half dream world. The house is quiet no conversation. Have a wash eat breakfast and then a wave of tiredness takes over and I need to close my eyes for half an hour - nothing you can do it just overwhelms you.
The house no longer seems to be a home - not many people visit. All the memories are Chris and William. Times before Chris was ill, times when I looked after Chris at home - rushing around getting up when I was tired. Times when Chris was in Sue Ryder and I only came back home to have a wash and a brief nights sleeps. Life has suddenly stopped and has been replaced with tiredness, sadness, loneliness and an emptiness that I try and fill with visiting people.
I try to stay positive and do things - it's hard to find things to do. I love going up to the Midlands to see the Gatehouses and visit Jane. Without them I'd be lost - thank you.
I'm meeting someone this afternoon to talk about going back to work.
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