Easter weekend

Friday afternoon went for a walk over Painswick Beacon with Jenny and Monty - a balmy sunny afternoon. Picked up Will and Ross from the station - it's lovely to have Will back home for a couple of weeks. Ross is a friend of Wills from University who is staying for the weekend.

On Saturday Ross joined the boys; Will, Jerry and myself for a blast around the FOD cycle trails. A fabulous day boys - thanks. A first trip to the Forest for Ross - he did incredibly well.

On Easter Sunday the Midland contingent came down for a very restful day. Jane and Jess started the Roses jigsaw puzzle, Tim played guitar, mum slept quite a lot (which is understandable the house move is taking it out of her), William and Ross went to Luke's for a couple of hours, then to Trinity and then played Uno with Jess and Tim. A lovely day.

On Monday William and Ross went for a cycle over Lecky - coming back for a roast dinner. A lovely weekend - thanks folks.

Taunton weekend

A wonderful few days - spent with friends. On Friday Jerry and Claire picked me up to go to Devon for a long weekend. We loaded the car with wetsuits and boards and headed straight to the Ho!. On arrival it was a bit choppy and breezy. Not a problem, we went in for what we thought would be a quick dip.  The hot afternoon sun kept out the chill breeze and we stayed in for four and half hours - great fun.

By Saturday the wind had increased and blown out the waves. So a quick change of plans saw us drive around Exmoor and do the fabulous Watersmeet to Lynmouth woodland walk. The walk follows the East Lyn River as it tumbles its way down to the sea. The roar of the water rang in our ears all the way. The hill sides were dappled in colour as the trees were in various stages of spring - some bare, some with red buds and some with small crisp green leaves.   Thank you Claire, Jerry, Claudia and Simo for your kindness.

On Sunday, back in Cheltenham, myself and Jerry took the opportunity to round the weekend off with a superb long ride around Winchcombe and Andoversford - what a beautiful county.

It was a lovely weekend spent in the company of patient and kind friends.  Love, family and friends are gifts that I have been given and I cherish them.  I always cry when I get home and I miss Christine, but her soul is with me and helps me all the time.

Haresfield Beacon

Dale came down for the day.  We went for a gentle walk, on a glorious spring day, around the Haresfield Beacon horseshoe. We lost the path twice, but made it back to the car park in time to get an ice cream before driving back home. The views from the topo are marvellous: to the west Sugarloaf and Blorenge could just be made out, to the south The Tyndale Monument stood proud on the escarpment nine and half miles away - thanks Dale for an enjoyable day.

In the evening I packed my bags for a long weekend to the coast. I shed a few tears in the evening - but that's OK.

The week

I found March extremely hard emotionally, spring was Christine's favourite time of the year and March also holds very bad memories from last year. As I move into April I am putting March behind me and remembering what Chris said to me - she wanted me to find some joy and happiness, these words jump into my mind and urge me on. Christine's unconditional love for me gives me life even after she has gone.

Wednesday 2nd I met up with Lance, a guy I met when Chris was in Sue Ryder - he was also going through the same journey as me.  It was good to talk to someone who understood.

Thursday 3rd went for a meal with our neighbours to mark the sale of Betty's house - Betty was our wonderful neighbour who sadly passed away eighteen months ago. Betty's daughter arranged it as a thank you to us all for being Betty's friend.

Friday 4th went for an enjoyable walk with an old work colleague Jenny and dog Monty, across Painswick Beacon.

Saturday 5th. A watershed day for me. Chris and myself had spoken many times about what I would do in the future and joining Cheltenham Cycle Club was something we discussed.  Chris thought this was a good idea and said I should do it.  It's taken four months, but today I felt strong enough and went along and joined a group of Cheltenham Cycle Club members on a sixteen mile an hour route. It was quite tough as it was the hilly route - taking about four hours with a stop for tea and cakes.

I enjoyed it and everyone was very friendly.  This was the first time I have done something on my own without the support of friends and family by my side.

Sunday 6th. Popped up to the Midlands. In the morning I dropped in on Bron and Ade and had a tour of their wonderful house, a house full of beautiful things. A work in progress I was informed - it looked good to me. In the afternoon I went to Jane's for a lovely meal. It was all going well until I got home. As soon as I got through the door at about 10.00 pm I really felt the loss of Christine and cried for hours, trawling through old cards and memories.  It just overwhelms you - you've just got to go with it.

It all came back again when I got back from work on Monday 7th - Mondays are always tough.  Tears of joy for what we had, tears of sadness for what we'll both miss.

The weekend

On Saturday I went for a very enjoyable cycle over Leckhampton with Jerry - a glorious spring day.

On Sunday William and myself were a little unsure what to do as it was the first Mothering Sunday without Christine.  We visited the cathedral and had lunch in the cathedral coffee shop. I enjoyed a cathedral cappucino - Chris used to say that cathedral cappucino was the best she'd ever tasted - it was lovely.  In the afternoon we went for a stroll over Leckhampton.

An emotional weekend

This weekend was an emotional roller coaster for me - I enjoyed it, but I was also overcome with immense sadness.  On Saturday I spent a very enjoyable day with Jane and Jessica in Bath exploring the city. We met up with William and walked around the Abbey. A choir was rehearsing for an evening performance of Handel's Messiah - we lit a candle for my dearest Christine - oh how I miss her.

On Sunday Jerry and myself packed up our mountain bikes and headed for Malvern. We cycled from the town up to North Hill and then along the ridge getting close to British Camp and then a return back to Malvern. The weather was spectacular; howling winds, rain and bright sun - a ferocious hail storm hit us just as we arrived at Worcestershire Beacon.  The dark stormy weather came in waves that you could see move across the landscape from West to East.  A super ride - thanks Jerry.

Coming home on lovely sunny spring days make me miss Christine even more. You think you are doing so well - then it hits you.  I miss her voice, her touch, her warmth - where is she? why did it happen?  My heart breaks.  Christine loved the world and it's seasons - we enjoyed them together.

Today reminded me of the first few lines of the poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins that Bron said Christine used to quote when they were at school.

God's Grandeur.

The world is charged with the grandeur of God

It will flame out, like shining from shook foil

It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil

Malvern walk

Spent a great day walking the Malverns with Dale. Starting in the town it was up to the North Hill and across to Worcestershire Beacon, the highest point on the ridge - the wind howled on top enabling us to lean into it at a precarious angle. We continued onto Wyche and then back to Malvern town via St Ann's Well.  Back in town we feasted on homemade beef stew in a small cafe tucked away in a side street.    The view from the ridge is spectacular - to the east it's rolling hills all the way to Wales, to the west it's the flat Severn Vale with the Cotswold escarpment in the distance.